Have a government
Federal, state, city, county, authority. Schmordl is flexible. A government is required.
Bob Schmordl Civil Engineer Unsolicited offeror
SCHMORDL
Schmordl would like a government contract in transportation engineering. Schmordl would like it very much.
Dynamic message sign · Schmordl corridor
Unsolicited proposal · SCHMORDL-001
THE ASK
AWAITING AWARD
A government contract in transportation, awarded to Schmordl.
This page is an unsolicited proposal from Schmordl — Bob Schmordl, civil engineer — who has wanted a government contract in the transportation industry for a slightly embarrassing amount of time. Above all else, Schmordl wants a government contract. Not a newsletter. Not a handshake. A contract.
Schmordl does not currently hold a government contract. Schmordl would like to hold a government contract. Schmordl is prepared to become, immediately, the kind of person who holds a government contract in transportation engineering.
Agencies of the United States, state departments of transportation, counties, cities, MPOs, transit authorities, turnpike commissions, port authorities, and any other government with a road, a bridge, a lane, or a budget: Schmordl is ready. Schmordl does not yet know how to bid. Schmordl is extremely willing to be told.
- Project
- Government contract
- Client
- A government (yours)
- Engineer of record
- Schmordl, Bob
Above all else, Schmordl wants a government contract.
Personnel · Schmordl
THE SCHMORDL
Bob Schmordl is a civil engineer who thinks about interchanges the way other people think about birthdays. Sight distance moves him. A clean gore area can make his week. He has a cloverleaf on his desk and a hard hat that has been waiting, loyally, for an official reason.
What Schmordl wants — more than a nicer title, more than a corner office, more than being asked how to pronounce Schmordl a second time — is a government contract in transportation engineering. Federal. State. Local. Schmordl is not picky about the government. Schmordl is picky about the contract existing, and about the contract being awarded to Schmordl.
On the Schmordl desk sits a binder labeled THE BID. Inside: a printed article titled “What is SAM.gov?”, a highlighted page of the AASHTO Green Book, and a sticky note that says, in full, “GET CONTRACT.” The procurement process is a mystery Schmordl is eager to solve in the general direction of an award.
Pronunciation: Schmordl. Like it looks. Please say Schmordl on the
award letter. Please put Schmordl on the contract. Please.
Scope · transportation
THE SCHMORDL CORRIDOR
If it moves people or freight and a government is paying for it, Schmordl would like to be involved. Ideally under contract. Specifically a government contract. Named Schmordl.
| Highways & arterials | Mainline, frontage, resurfacing, reconstruction, and the quiet joy of a well-designed auxiliary lane. Schmordl would like these to appear in a government contract. |
|---|---|
| Bridges & structures | Overpasses, underpasses, river crossings, and anything a truck can legally love. Schmordl will stand on it proudly once the government contract is signed. |
| Interchanges | Cloverleafs, diamonds, turbines, diverging diamonds, and whatever the traffic model demands. Schmordl has a scale model. Schmordl is not kidding. |
| Intersections & streets | Signals, roundabouts, complete streets, and the politics of a left-turn lane. Suitable for city and county governments with contracts. |
| Transit & multimodal | Bus corridors, queue jumps, stations, and the spaces between modes. If a government is funding it, Schmordl is interested, contractually. |
| Drainage, because of course | Every corridor has drainage. Schmordl accepts this. Schmordl will also accept a government contract that happens to include drainage. |
Preferred delivery: any delivery, so long as a government contract is awarded to Schmordl.
Evaluation factors · honest
SCHMORDL READINESS
Schmordl believes in full disclosure. The desire is not in question. The procurement paperwork is a growth area.
Desire for a government contract
100%
Transportation civil engineering
88%
Willingness to learn procurement
100%
Ability to say Schmordl on a call
94%
Current knowledge of how to bid
6%
SAM.gov registration
soon
Schmordl will learn immediately
- How to bid on a government contract
- Which portal the bid goes in
- The difference between an RFP, RFQ, IFB, and “please”
- FAR, DFARS, and whatever else the contract requires
- CAGE codes, UEI numbers, and the rest of the alphabet
Schmordl already brings
- A civil engineer named Schmordl
- An unreasonable focus on transportation
- Availability, starting now
- A binder, a hard hat, and a website named Schmordl
- The sincere belief that a government contract should be awarded to Schmordl
Instructions to the government
HOW TO AWARD SCHMORDL
Schmordl has reverse-engineered the process from first principles. It appears to be the following.
Have transportation
A road, a bridge, a transit line, a study, a design, a corridor. Something that moves.
Have a contract
This is the important part. Schmordl is told these can be bid. Schmordl is ready to learn.
Put Schmordl on it
Prime, sub, consultant, task order, emergency hire. The word Schmordl should appear.
Tell Schmordl
Schmordl will handle enthusiasm, engineering, and the sudden education in bidding.
Offer · open until awarded
THE BID
Schmordl does not know whether this is an RFP, an RFQ, a sources-sought notice, a set-aside, a task order, or simply a website. Schmordl is fine with any of those, provided a government contract in transportation engineering is at the other end, and that the name on it is Schmordl.
If you are a contracting officer, a project manager, a public-works director, or a person who knows a person: Schmordl is the civil engineer who will not make you chase him. Schmordl is already here. Schmordl wants the contract.
Direct line: [email protected]